Thriller Music Video - How do I go about giving my baby to a friend of mine and his wife?

How do I go about giving my baby to a friend of mine and his wife?

I am pregnant, but I don't want to keep the baby. Where can I find the information I need to know to arrange for a friend of mine and his wife to adopt the baby from me when it is born (we live in 2 different states)? Links for me to read, advice, books etc. any info would be helpful.

Public Comments

You need a good lawyer and a good counselor. Both can help you with this VERY difficult situation .
You both need to get lawyers. They will take care of everything. Thats about it with a private adoption.
Here is a good website to get started... http://www.adoption.org/adopt/private-adoption.php
you will need lawyers in both states. an interstate compact agreement needs to be in place to take the baby out of your state to theirs - this is filed after the birth, once you have relinquished your parental rights. The couple will need to complete a homestudy (by a social worker) to show they don't have a criminal background and can provide a safe home for the child. If they contact a lawyer in their state he/she should be able to get things going. None of the papers are signed until after the birth - so at that time you need to be sure about your decision. Once your rights are relinquished you cannot change your mind. Also the father's signature is required if at all possible. If not possible his rights will have to be terminated legally by the courts (for example if he is unknown or cannot be located).
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT! DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION! Seriously. If you know you don't want it now, then get an abortion before it's too late, because if you abandon it, you're screwing it up for life - and probably yourself too. If you don't want to abort, then please do not allow anyone pressure you into abandoning it. I was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old. I didn't have a bad adoption - my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen... but if I'd been able to choose, and I'd known then what I know now, I'd've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, 'cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I've gone through would've been over in minutes, instead of the decades that I've been suffering for now. I've been in reunion with my bfam for a few months now, and even that's proving to be completely agonising. Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right. (pg 50) Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory. (pg 102) It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun." (pg 117) Please, if you're not gonna abort your baby, then make damn sure you parent it. Go read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html - it's by someone who made both choices at different times in her life. You may find some of the books and links listed over at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/747.html useful. Good luck.